The Dawdlers Aide-memoire (Part 1)

For those born into this ‘modern-age’ the concept of dawdling can seem a little daunting & bewildering. The ability to saunter along at a leisurely tempo whilst appreciating the architecture & landscape is for many at odds to the angst-ridden, ‘snooze & you lose’ frenetic attitude that is culturally rife in society at this present time. Therefore, I have decided to produce a small, but perfectly formed aide-memoire for those who need a little guidance on how to approach dawdling for the first time.

But before one even takes a step outside the front door, one has to be suitably prepared for what may lay ahead.

Functional Clothing

In my past it has been said that I possess the fashion sense of a 1980’s German man, but in my defence, my wardrobe tends to veer towards ‘the functional’ as opposed to ‘the in-vogue’.

When it comes to clothing I personally avoid man-made fibres on the skin, due to the fact that after an hour or so on the hoof one can start to emit a smell that would make even the hardiest of yak herders turn green. Therefore lightweight, loose-fitting natural garments, such as cotton & merino wool are the order of the day, as they stay fresher for longer & can be layered if necessary. A very clever invention are the trousers that can covert to shorts, which when combined with a long-sleeved Oxford style shirt, are smart enough to wear into almost all but the most well-to-do dining establishments.

Gentlemen on a personal note, when it comes to underwear be mindful of garments that are too loose & unsupportive. There is nothing worse than chafing & wedging around one’s nether regions, & if one is wearing less than the regulation length short trousers, a chap must always be aware of his chap inappropriately taking the air/the mouse coming out the house/Private Wiggly falling-out without permission, particularly when in a relaxed, seated position.

(Ladies, unfortunately I am unable to provide any such advice into clothing, as whatever I suggest will undoubtedly be completely wrong.)

Functional Footwear

Unless one plans to dawdle up the north face of the Eiger, a pair of supportive, adjustable, shock-absorbing rubber soled shoes should be adequate & in warmer times, trail-type sandals may be worn.

Warning: On a serious note, the wearing of ankle/knee socks with any form of sandals is strictly forbidden in the British Isles & one is likely to be arrested, or even shot on site should you be spotted in public sporting such.

Functional Equipment to carry about one’s person

Being the experienced dawdler that I am, I am always accompanied by my trusty small knapsack, within which I carry some essentials.

  • Brew-kit (including water bottle)
  • Swiss-army penknife*
  • Waterproof jacket
  • Wide-brimmed hat
  • Sunglasses
  • Assorted snacks
  • Emergency assorted snacks
  • Snacks in case of dire emergencies such as nuclear war or even missing the last train home
  • Map & compass
  • First-aid kit
  • Tissues
  • Modes of payment

*This item is best omitted if you are dawdling about a congested town/city (to be honest you could do more harm with a sharpened pencil but it’s best to avoid).

This concludes Part 1 of The Dawdlers Aide-memoire. Part 2 will focus on ‘Stepping out the front door’, ‘Navigation’, ‘Dealing with undesirables encountered en-route’ & ‘Keeping suitably sustained’.

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